Am I Really That Much of a Loser?
When I left
my corporate job in the city I knew I was taking a risk. Leaving a cushy, well-paying job without
having something new lined up is a dive off the deep end.
It’s been
nearly six months since I quit, and about three weeks into a serious job
search, with only one real interview to show for it. I’m starting to get depressed – it’s like
knowing that everybody in your high school class has a date to the Prom while
you’re sitting home alone, all dressed up but no offers to dance. (And no, I was
never invited to Prom, so I know the feeling well).
I have to
keep reminding myself that I had very valid reasons for leaving my job, not the
least of which was the fact that my boss (The Sadist) more or less told me he was going to
fire me the next time I made a mistake.
Humans make mistakes, ergo… I
decided to leave on my own terms with my head held high, thank you very much.
The other
reasons for quitting I could have lived with individually, but when combined
into the daily soup of misery that was my existence, I just couldn’t deal
anymore. Let us recap, shall we?
1)
The
grinding, 2-hours-each-way commute.
Leaving the house at 7 a.m. and getting home at 7:30 or 8:00 at
night. You try it and see how long you
last. I did it for eleven years.
2)
A
toxic work environment that had people being thrown under buses right and left,
bad behavior being rewarded (please, please vent in the comments section!), and
those who were truly trying to do the right thing being punished (promotions
and raises withheld, getting yelled at for stupid stuff, etc.)
3)
The
soul-killing reality that is Corporate America.
Everybody deals with this crap, and I put up with it too and probably
will have to again, but I needed a break after 25 years of Office Bullshit. The list of said crap is endless, but my
personal favorite is Corporate Buzzwords, specifically “Granularity”. As in, “What is the granularity of our
criteria for this project?” That one makes my stomach churn. Please share
your personal favorites.
I had lunch
with an old friend recently. She
survived late-stage cancer and has a newfound perspective on priorities in
life. Luckily I was able to come to the
same conclusion without having to stare Death in the face. Upshot:
you can put up with a lot of pain and suffering in life if you have to
in order to survive, but once you have the option of leaving it behind, you’d
be a fool not to. Life, pardon the old
saw, is way too short.
That said,
I’m now faced with a long, hard slog to find a new job that pays enough to
cover the bills, doesn’t require flying to the moon and back every day, and is
somewhat mentally stimulating.
So far,
apparently, that’s asking a bit too much of the world.
I’ll keep
you posted.
